Midnight Thoughts

Thinking of giving myself some time to rant and write down stuffs before I really gonna do what am I supposed to do. Yes, I do procrastinate. My room need to be rearranged and haven't done it till now, though the thought came since last week. Or even before.

Mothers and daughters, are they destined to have a typical classical situation where "Mom can't understand my point of view" and "You wouldn't let yourself to be more open to me" thing? I share my uttermost private things not with parents. Let's say I don't want to bother them. And yes, I don't think they will understand. Somehow somewhere, I think they will forever see me as a childish child. I did point that out once. I avoid to tell things to save me up from potential arguments. Is it also categorizes as a deviation of "running away"?

How good are you in pretending? Pretending that you're interested but you're not. Pretending that you're cool, but you are so nervous. You are anticipating. But you just wanna appear it's not such a big deal. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. It doesn't say much about how much effort should one put in his endeavour. I suspect it depends on each person's characteristic.

Now then, how much you would believe in all those character generalisation in the form of horoscope, zodiacs, etc? It might be true, logical for some people. It might also be incorrect in details. You can rely your life on what they say, and life's goes on. Or perhaps you just don't give a damn thought on them and yet it still work accordingly with out your knowing, or else perhaps you just break all the trends and laws they provide. Being an anomaly. But who can demand for 100% accuraccy? Of course with a planet full of 6.778 billion people (Wikipedia), divided into 12 Western Zodiacs, and 12*5 Chinese Horoscope… don't you think the ratio is…. unbalanced? Whatever.

Here's a quote from the Wiki, to provide more reliable source on the World Population: "The term world population commonly refers to the total number of living humans on Earth at a given time. As of 17 August 2009, the Earth's population is estimated by the United States Census Bureau to be 6.778 billion ". Why I quoted, actually because I don't know yet how to make a link here.. :|

Anyway. I met new people today. People I've not seen before. People I watch as they converse with each other, sometimes daring myself to jumped into their fun conversation. But not always. There's always some awkward feeling in the first meeting like this. This is not my really first time. And inspite of that unpleasant vague feeling, I could enjoy it. And I'm expecting great things which will follow in the future.

Entering a new community is like a new start, a refreshing feeling is there. Perhaps it's like giving your compie a restart command. Though it is not (yet) a place where I feel most comfortable, the anticipation, the fresh eagerness, the lame and jargon words of introduction, the standard questions.. I could enjoy it all after I've been through it all. When it happens I usually keep somehow nervous, and just act based on instinct. What to do, what to say, what to see, what to enjoy… But in times like this, when I'm back alone and remembering of what had happened.. I smiled and glad that I did opt to come.

This midnight thoughts can go covering many things and thus delay me even more to do things I should. So forgive my improper closing lines, but I think I should go now. Better save this happy mood to 'work'. I can't wait for more surprises in life.

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